Footsteps

March 7th, 2018

The age-old tradition of running from our problems or fears is all too familiar. The running we seem to batter an eyelid over are the things that make us whole. Joy, love, emotion and potential versus heartache, horrible truths and little lies.

Whether we choose to deny it or embrace it, these emotions scare us and leave us in fight or flight mode.

Did you know that when we run, we never have both feet on the ground at the same time? The security of having two feet on the floor, the sense of security we are searching for is unattainable while running.

Tired

5th of March, 2017

I am tired of sleeping broken.

The broken inhibits my mind as the lights go out, then it hits hard when they turn back on again.

But you don’t just feel the bang when the lights go on, you also feel the flicker when you think your mind is asleep. It is in those moments your dreams come to life.

I had this dream last night. We were at a party. I fell asleep before the night began and woke up knowing I was missing out, I had to find him. I needed to find him.

I Wish…

“I wish that no one ever waited 4 hours to text you back when you know they’re holding their phone. It’s rude.

I wish no one ever messed with your head, and I wish no one ever gave you mixed signals.

I wish when you asked somebody “do you wanna be with me?” they never ever said, “I don’t know.” I wish they only ever told you yes or no because you deserve to know the truth.”

– Taylor Swift

“I don’t want to get hurt, because I don’t want to have to run away.”

That was the moment I completely and totally opened my heart up. For the first time in a long time I was surrounded by someone with so much light, he was my own personal firefly.

HELP, I’VE GOT THE HEATHROW INJECTION!

“You’re so skinny. I was exactly the same as soon as I moved here. 15kgs later…”

“I had a really great lifestyle back in Australia, I’m continuing with it here. The weight gain won’t effect me”.

– Were the exact words I shared with one of my housemates the first day I moved in.

Naive Elizabeth strikes again. Boy, was I wrong.

Planning to move from the wonderful, fresh Australia to the UK ? Be prepared to get the Heathrow Injection.

As the ever so accurate Urban Dictionary describes it:

Heathrow injection. A metaphor for the weight one inevitably gains when one migrates to London for an extended stay.

“What? Weight gain? This wasn’t on the visa application terms and conditions,” you say?

No, my friend. The Heathrow Injection is one of life’s little surprises that smashes you in the gut like a ton of bricks.

I am by no means an overweight person, but when I arrived four months ago I was definitely slimmer than I am now.

How does that make me feel? Pretty down actually. I have always looked after my body, and for the last few months I have done exactly that. Despite my efforts at maintaining the same diet and exercise routine as back home, I have noticed the muffin top creeping up.  Gaining weight is an uncomfortable feeling, especially when you haven’t applied any major changes to your diet.

I have gotten to the point where I am not sure I can put up with two more years of this. Pathetic, right?

Let me share a little about my health and lifestyle with you:

• I am gluten free and find my body also doesn’t react well to gluten free bread (The struggle to not eat pizza all the time is real people).
• Dairy free (By choice, not intolerant).
• I probably consume meat once or twice a week (I get my iron and protein from alternative food sources).
• I don’t often indulge in high sugar deserts (when I do they’re naturally sweetened).
• I exercise regularly (Can you understand my frustration with weight gain now?).
• I Just got back from a week in Italy and had gelato and pizza basically every day, which means all of the above was thrown out of the window (Don’t jude me).

So, ladies and gentlemen, that’s a little about me. I have come to the conclusion if we want to enjoy our time living in the UK we need to fight The Heathrow Injection together. Are you with me?

I’ve put my personal weight gain down to four factors.

Fruit and Vegetables

My diet has always consisted of a lot of fruit and veg. The problem with this is in the UK most of the products are imported and contain high levels of pesticides and other chemicals used to grow the fruit.

Pesticides are used to protect produce from pests, weeds and other nasties. Although in Australia our fruit also contains chemicals, I’m convinced that fruit in the UK is not working wonders on my body.

Fish and Meat

I was never a big meat eater back home, so I haven’t been having a lot since arriving. When I do have it, the first thing I notice is a major difference in taste (To be fair, we do have pretty awesome meat standards back home. The bar was set pretty high).

Fish on the other hand – I’ve always loved my tuna. Approximately 70% of seafood is imported in the UK (Errrrrrr not so fresh = not so good).

Alcohol Consumption 

To be fair I should have seen this problem coming. The UK has such a big drinking culture, and by big I mean: weekday morning hangovers are socially acceptable (this can occur anywhere between 1-5 nights a week).

It’s difficult to say no to a few glasses of wine with colleagues or flatmates after work, especially when you are starting a new social circle. I would have to say I’ve consumed more wine in the last few months than I have my entire life (Not sure if I should be impressed or ashamed….hi mum).

Water

One thing EVERYONE complains about is how much their hair and skin change after arriving in the UK. Although this is due to a combination of factors, water is a major game changer. If the water is effecting your skin and hair, imagine what it is doing to your body in general.

Australia has a fantastic water supply. We have some of the highest quality water in the world. Spending 23 years drinking/showering in it, then suddenly shifting to a new supply has definitely taken its toll (…does this mean I have to start paying for bottled water?).

Although the summer months are ending, I am more determined now than ever to get back into shape. So those four factors above? I’m going to change them.

I will start by buying organic and free-range meat and produce to see if that reduces the chemicals going into my body. I will also be purchasing 2L of non-english bottled water daily to keep up my fluids.

If I don’t bore you too much with my complaining you can keep up to date with my progress by following my blog.

I’m giving you one last chance England. Work with me on this so I can stay in your beautiful country for another year and a half!

– E

I’m [still] feeling 22 – Hello 23!

My twenty second year on this earth has by far been the most extraordinary. As I was catapulted though loss straight into foreign land I felt so elated in a way I forgot was possible.

Through it all, I discovered how in love I am with my life. I have experienced things I never dreamed possible and always surprise myself with wondrous thoughts.

Today, I celebrate the end of 22 as I enter another year of life. Thank you to all the people who made this year an experience I will never forget and for creating what is sure to be a magnificent reflection of my life.

Driving home under a glorious moon I had a reason to pump ’22’ as loud as can be. Although I turned 23, I was definitely feeling the elation of my 22-year-old self.

As I embark on a new adventure in the coming weeks, I am so grateful to be the person I am today.

I have never felt more out of my comfort zone, and if possible I never want to be in my comfort zone again.

While being “happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time” was definitely an accurate portrayal of the past year, I know those mixed emotions have pushed me to become who I am today.

That dreamer is up at 1am writing this to you all on my laptop with nostalgia creeping as The O.C plays in the background, and her heart is glowing with happiness.

I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely feeling 22 today. Hello 23! #blessed

Awakening

Diary Of a Dreamer: Falling Where The Light Is

It is the easiest thing to do; falling.

It happens in unexpected ways we only discover when we feel the ground fast approaching.

For a long time our mind is in ‘denial mode’.

Throwing out those below the belt lines like:

“You’re not falling, this is stupid.”

“Why did you do this again?”

…or my personal best:

“Let me just stand in the way of your FEELINGS for a while and let it hit you all at once.”

Falling is hard, falling is stupid. Yet, I manage to do it so well.

I don’t share my heart with everyone, if anything it is so sheltered from previous rain that it may have never wanted to see the light again.

But then there was him.

So begins an unexpected spark of curiosity, somehow pulling sacred thoughts out of my mind and sharing them in an open space. Instantly pulling down any walls or fears in it’s path.

There are very few people in this world who give off so much light, he is one of them.

My cover came off.

It has gone back on a few times, too. Once I can feel the warmth of the light, it slips me back into the comfort of the shade.

Slowly humming ‘just keep me where the light is’ I awaken into the unknown, where clocks have stopped and moments stand still. Eventually gravity slowly takes its toll.

The car ride home sets reality into place.

It is a ticking time bomb.

One that simply stops when he is near, and fastens the further we fall apart.

But somehow I know in order to feel the light, I have to fall into it.

Even if it’s only temporary.

 

Image via courtneey-brooke.deviantart.com

 

 

 

What She Became

Why at 22 you don’t need a ‘happily ever after’

“We’re happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time,
It’s miserable and magical.”

As Taylor so accurately describes it, 22 is certainly a mixture of miserable and magical.  The crazy, yet exciting emotional state of a 22-year-old is one worth writing a song about. But what brings us all to this point of juxtaposition as a young adult? Love.

With about 99 percent of films and songs dedicated to some form of it, love is by far the hardest thing to escape.

Yes, it is possibly the most amazing feeling you will ever experience. It comes in different forms, each fueling the fire we live off and sending us deeper into the waves of affection.

But it also leaves you in a state of venerability as you blindly hand your whole heart over to someone else, hoping they won’t drop it. When they do, you don’t see it coming.

While pondering over my Facebook newsfeed earlier this week I came across the most accurately written article I’ve seen in a long time.

Between scrolling through those addictive, yet cliche “signs you have found your soul mate” and “reasons you’re still single” articles, I find it difficult to see an even amount of perspective from women who in want to EMBRACE their 20s as a time to be single and independent.

This particular article really reached out to me as something I have always felt, yet couldn’t put it into words.
The thing about love is, you want it. 

I haven’t stopped wanting it my whole life, always looking for it, waiting for fate and a man to sweep me off my feet.

But a recent break-up sent everything I believed into a catastrophic cycle of questions, turning all my focus back onto myself.

If you had asked me 6 months ago if I had my soulmate I would have said “Yes, of course.”

But fast forward to a free mind, and I am proud to say I’m not even thinking of a happily ever after with a partner. A part of me feels trapped considering that frame of mind I was in throughout the relationship.

I had always imagined happiness had sprung from love and being with someone, but turning the focus back onto myself I began to see that’s not always the case. Focusing on the idea of “I have to find him so I can live my life,” was where I went terribly wrong.

I’ve always been fiercely independent. So why would I need to wait until I’m with my soul mate to be happy? Why then? Why not right now. Why not stop looking and build my life before him in it rather than after?

22 is a fearless age, we shouldn’t be running from it – we should chase it,
Seize it,

embrace it.

“But you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end.” – Love Actually.

That end, becomes a new beginning.  You haven’t reached your end yet, so keep living.

In a funny way, my happily ever after began the day my single life started. I’ve enjoyed every spellbinding moment since.

 

The Modern Theme: 21st party for a 21st century birthday

21st birthdays: a time of triumph and celebration as one approaches a major milestone in life – Adulthood. While there are typical forms of initiation, one of the most common is holding a themed birthday party.