Tag Archives: dreamer

Tired

5th of March, 2017

I am tired of sleeping broken.

The broken inhibits my mind as the lights go out, then it hits hard when they turn back on again.

But you don’t just feel the bang when the lights go on, you also feel the flicker when you think your mind is asleep. It is in those moments your dreams come to life.

I had this dream last night. We were at a party. I fell asleep before the night began and woke up knowing I was missing out, I had to find him. I needed to find him. Continue reading Tired

I’m [still] feeling 22 – Hello 23!

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My twenty second year on this earth has by far been the most extraordinary. As I was catapulted though loss straight into foreign land I felt so elated in a way I forgot was possible.

Through it all, I discovered how in love I am with my life. I have experienced things I never dreamed possible and always surprise myself with wondrous thoughts.

Today, I celebrate the end of 22 as I enter another year of life. Thank you to all the people who made this year an experience I will never forget and for creating what is sure to be a magnificent reflection of my life.

Driving home under a glorious moon I had a reason to pump ’22’ as loud as can be. Although I turned 23, I was definitely feeling the elation of my 22-year-old self.

As I embark on a new adventure in the coming weeks, I am so grateful to be the person I am today.

I have never felt more out of my comfort zone, and if possible I never want to be in my comfort zone again.

While being “happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time” was definitely an accurate portrayal of the past year, I know those mixed emotions have pushed me to become who I am today.

That dreamer is up at 1am writing this to you all on my laptop with nostalgia creeping as The O.C plays in the background, and her heart is glowing with happiness.

I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely feeling 22 today. Hello 23! #blessed

Diary Of a Dreamer: Falling Where The Light Is

It is the easiest thing to do; falling.

It happens in unexpected ways we only discover when we feel the ground fast approaching.

For a long time our mind is in ‘denial mode’.

Throwing out those below the belt lines like:

“You’re not falling, this is stupid.”

“Why did you do this again?”

…or my personal best:

“Let me just stand in the way of your FEELINGS for a while and let it hit you all at once.”

Falling is hard, falling is stupid. Yet, I manage to do it so well.

I don’t share my heart with everyone, if anything it is so sheltered from previous rain that it may have never wanted to see the light again.

But then there was him.

So begins an unexpected spark of curiosity, somehow pulling sacred thoughts out of my mind and sharing them in an open space. Instantly pulling down any walls or fears in it’s path.

There are very few people in this world who give off so much light, he is one of them.

My cover came off.

It has gone back on a few times, too. Once I can feel the warmth of the light, it slips me back into the comfort of the shade.

Slowly humming ‘just keep me where the light is’ I awaken into the unknown, where clocks have stopped and moments stand still. Eventually gravity slowly takes its toll.

The car ride home sets reality into place.

It is a ticking time bomb.

One that simply stops when he is near, and fastens the further we fall apart.

But somehow I know in order to feel the light, I have to fall into it.

Even if it’s only temporary.

 

Image via courtneey-brooke.deviantart.com