Tag Archives: independent

Why at 22 you don’t need a ‘happily ever after’

“We’re happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time,
It’s miserable and magical.”

As Taylor so accurately describes it, 22 is certainly a mixture of miserable and magical.  The crazy, yet exciting emotional state of a 22-year-old is one worth writing a song about. But what brings us all to this point of juxtaposition as a young adult? Love.

With about 99 percent of films and songs dedicated to some form of it, love is by far the hardest thing to escape.

Yes, it is possibly the most amazing feeling you will ever experience. It comes in different forms, each fueling the fire we live off and sending us deeper into the waves of affection.

But it also leaves you in a state of venerability as you blindly hand your whole heart over to someone else, hoping they won’t drop it. When they do, you don’t see it coming.

While pondering over my Facebook newsfeed earlier this week I came across the most accurately written article I’ve seen in a long time.

Between scrolling through those addictive, yet cliche “signs you have found your soul mate” and “reasons you’re still single” articles, I find it difficult to see an even amount of perspective from women who in want to EMBRACE their 20s as a time to be single and independent.

This particular article really reached out to me as something I have always felt, yet couldn’t put it into words.
The thing about love is, you want it. 

I haven’t stopped wanting it my whole life, always looking for it, waiting for fate and a man to sweep me off my feet.

But a recent break-up sent everything I believed into a catastrophic cycle of questions, turning all my focus back onto myself.

If you had asked me 6 months ago if I had my soulmate I would have said “Yes, of course.”

But fast forward to a free mind, and I am proud to say I’m not even thinking of a happily ever after with a partner. A part of me feels trapped considering that frame of mind I was in throughout the relationship.

I had always imagined happiness had sprung from love and being with someone, but turning the focus back onto myself I began to see that’s not always the case. Focusing on the idea of “I have to find him so I can live my life,” was where I went terribly wrong.

I’ve always been fiercely independent. So why would I need to wait until I’m with my soul mate to be happy? Why then? Why not right now. Why not stop looking and build my life before him in it rather than after?

22 is a fearless age, we shouldn’t be running from it – we should chase it,
Seize it,

embrace it.

“But you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end.” – Love Actually.

That end, becomes a new beginning.  You haven’t reached your end yet, so keep living.

In a funny way, my happily ever after began the day my single life started. I’ve enjoyed every spellbinding moment since.


The 21st Century Woman: Tips To Becoming More Independent

“If you are happy, you can give happiness. If you don’t love yourself and if you are unhappy with yourself, you can’t give anything else but that”

– Gisele Bundchen 

Gisele Bundchen had it right, I believe the most important thing about being happy is loving yourself, after all can you really embrace your life if your not content with who you’re looking at in the mirror. Continue reading The 21st Century Woman: Tips To Becoming More Independent